I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
