you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
