Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
