She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
