Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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