found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
