Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
