everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
