i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
