I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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