bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
