you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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