Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
