So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
