So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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