i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
