You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
