I feel great
I just peed on a car
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
