Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
