thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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