he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You smell like stripper and shame
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
