at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
