No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
