Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
