This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
