It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
