I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
