I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
