Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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