White coat. Heels.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Pants are for mortals
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
