i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
