Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
