She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
