I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
