they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
