I love black thongs
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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