Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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