Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
