I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
