so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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