you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
