It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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