Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize