Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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