Your tits are I can't wait for
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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