come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
