I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
