I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
