Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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