i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
