dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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