I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
your like the ambassador to my penis.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
