Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
